This post isn't about anything cute the girls did...or a funny story...it's very serious, very real...and very confusing all at the same time. Please bear with me, as I just need a place to put my thoughts.....thanks.

This weekend, there was tragedy next door. A woman, and her son, (who is Kurt's age) live in the townhouse right next to us. The son's daughter, plays with our girls when she visit's her dad, usually every other weekend. We were out kinda late Saturday night, and came home to chaos. Police cars were outside the neighbors gargage, and crime tape was around the perimeter...we found out that our neighbor had committed suicide.

I really didn't know what to think. I was shocked, that something like this happened so close to home. I was so sad. Sad for our neighbor, (the Mom) and also sad for this man's little girl. To be perfectly honest...I was completely wigged out...totally unsettled! I have no idea why I felt the way I felt. I do know one thing though...I hugged my girls so tight...and I hugged my husband so tight, because I treasure what I have here. I have a wonderful family, and a heavenly Father that loves me, and no matter how tough things get for me, or how overwhelmed "life" seems to get...I know that I ALWAYS have someone to turn to. I am lucky. Perhaps the gentleman next door didn't feel as lucky as I ...or maybe lucky isn't a good word...but honestly...I really didn't know that much about him...he was a nice guy...kinda quiet....the Mom is really sweet, like a grandmotherly type to the girls....always chatting...but I know also that there were problems...and apparantly, this was the only way out for him.

Kurt and I prayed that night...after we got the girls in bed, and it had quieted down a little...we prayed for the family, for the situation...for our family...my heart just cried out to the Father....to hold us in this tragedy, and I prayed that this would be the closest I would ever have to be to this sort of thing ever again.