Lately....

I'm in a funk. Well, let me say, first..a few comments on idol....It was so bizarre tonight...those that I don't really care for, did great, and those that I want to go to the finals, were not so good....what is up with that?

Anyways....back to my funk. I'm grieving....I know it. Cameron's sister and her dad came to church last week. Actually the sister even went to Becca's sleepover at church with her. I hadn't seen them in a while. This was hard. I miss Cameron so, so much. I miss his giggle..I miss his smell...I even miss his temper! He was such a funny, busy, lovable little guy. I miss him. I miss him.

Tori, well, I'm still dealing with anger at her...yes, I said "at" her...she has lied, manipulated and just about broke my heart...maybe it is a little broken...and it just makes me mad!! I won't even get into the anger I'm still dealing with over the county...and the total injustice I still feel.

I want these bitter feelings to go away...I want to forgive, I really do....but struggling with "how" to do that, to lay it down at the foot of the Cross, and actually leave it there....I've tried..multiple times...this is so hard....